DALE KASTLE’S WONDER EMPORIUM

director / editor / illustrator / voiceover-er / lyricist / singer / impressionist / living legend

Rubber baby-buggy bumpers! Silly Dale went and deleted his wrong Youtube account. Silly Dale also didn’t backup his laptop before it fell off the balcony. (Sorry innocent Balham bystander, Dale done a oopsie.) So silly Dale’s gone and lost ALL his amazeballs Dale Does Arnie cover songs and Meditate with Arnie tracks. Boohoo, what a Debbie-Downer. I sorrrrrry. But **RECORD SCRATCH** never fear as I’ve started re-recording my musical back-catalogue to spread the Dale love once more. Joy to the world, the legend has come again!*

That’s right, because with supreme singing talent comes great performer responsibility to give the people what they want. So stick around and the pleasure-party will be back before you know it. You’ll think of them as my greatest hits (coz they’re all great) so see this do-over as my ultimate gift to you. You can thank me later. Just be sure to click through to Youtube once they’re uploaded and smash those Like and Subscribe buttons!

Until then here’s a quick voiceover demo reel I threw together for shitz and giggles to try and capture some examples of my raw skillage-in-the-village vocal agility. Trust me, my oral skills are second to none aka the Betty Swallocks aka the bees knees if bees actually have knees??? Ah, who cares?! Crank your speakers all the way up to 11 and enjoy Dale in Dual-Dolby deliciousness, baby! (I’ll also add a few freestyle bursts of Arnie sing-song soon to get your juices flowing!)

Voiceover rate: £300 per hour (non negotiable) PLUS travel OR to keep costs down I can stay at home and record “wild” (I always go wild!) in my bathroom with the extractor fan off (lesson learned!) using the best mic you can buy for under a tenner on Amazon. (Take it from me that you won’t tell teh difference.) Just lemme know if you want me to write and/or sing and/or play the kazoo because I charge extra for that depending on turnaround times and song duration etc. But trust me, with such incredible songwriting talents and musical mastery and a voice like mine you’ll be throwing money at me! (No loose change please, make it rain with notes only.)

(*one of my design dork chums said for reasons of good taste I should delete my genius joke about it not being the first time I’ve come all over the internet, so blame him for the opening paragraph being so PC. He was laughing on the inside though, that guy literally knows comedy when he sees it (they don’t all call him Mr Your-LOL-Sees at work for nothing!) and he even said I could of helped write Little Britain or Mrs Brown’s Boys if I had the time. So take that as an official seal of approval of my accomplished comedy capability!)