Are you running low on creative steam?

Are you bumfuddled by viral internet videos?

Or are you just looking to have a hilarious song expertly written and magnificently performed by a living LEGEND to promote your fine wares?

Then look no further than me, your friendly neighbourhood advert-man. I create awesome commercials and promos to make your shizness do the business. Satisfaction and success 101% guaranteed! (In spirit, not legally binding.) So what the Brick Heck are you waiting for? Web-shoot me a message already for my rates and availability (or just for top bantz) via Dale-Mail™: TheDaleKastle@gmail.com

I can write, direct, edit, illustrate, score, sing for and voice your project, so I can be (and totally should be!) your go-to one-stop creative shop. Still need convincing? Here’s a page of some of my many masterpieces. (They’re all masterpieces but the internet isn’t strong enough to contain them all!) Full portfolio coming soon. That’s as soon as I can catch a break from being so damn AWESOME!!!

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!!! I’m also a professional kazoo player (you read that right!) self taught to the highest standard imaginable, assuming you can imagine such a feat is even possible of a mere mortal! I also used to DJ like a boss for hospital radio until my bad-ass-ness proved too much for the NHS to handle. (Bad-ass-ness in terms of my fearless approach to DJ-ing, I don’t mean that I have piles or any other bum beasties going on back there thank you very much!!!)

You can also treat yourself to my legendary Arnie cover songs here. Trust me, you’ll love them. I’m like an Austrian Elvis, but British.

You could say all of this is my gift. My curse.
But who am I again? Why, I’m Dale frickin’ Kastle.
Gimme some sugar, baby!